Safe As Ever

The Onion's top news story of 2011:



So committed to grotesquing the news.

On The Barbie

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I used to work in the deli section of a large supermarket. It wasn't the most respected or highest paying job I've ever undertaken, but I did learn a lot about what Australians like to eat; particularly on special occasions like Christmas, the New Year, public holidays and weekends.

As today is Australia Day, I figured I should post in honour of the most popular things we ever sold on public holidays: dead crustaceans.

Here are a few of my favourite crusty composites from the Web.

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Lobster motorcycles by chef Huang Mingbo.

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We came to dread Christmas Eve in the deli, because we knew our fingers and palms would be shredded by midday from shoveling handful after handful of raw prawns into plastic bags. The flimsy rubber gloves were too soft to prevent their spines puncturing our skin and sliding under our fingernails. You would have thought the blood would put off the customers but, like sharks, it only seemed to heighten their frenzy.

Anyway, here is a photo of me after a ten hour shift:

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Pretty! Also resembles Scott D. Wilson's Victorian lobster boy.


Humanity's seafood obsession has been going on for a while.

[Detail from ancient Roman mosaic. Excavated Pompeii, Naples. Via]

It has taken on more inexplicable forms in recent years, though...

[Starving Child Octopus Baby silk pillow. Via]

Not sure what's going on here, but I like it.

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Future film idea/title: The Girl with the Crab Hat.


Also this.

Really, how are those crabs blowing up the island? I guess you know you are in trouble when the giant crustaceans have "razor sharp claws that hand grenades and dynamite cannot stop."

Well that's enough for now. It's 5pm and 40C here in Perth, so I don't have the energy to collect any more sea folly.

Okay maybe one more.

[Go on, get yourself a prawn costume. You deserve it.]

The Slythy Toves

Between teaching and marking papers, I've recently been trawling through the Victoria and Albert Museum's online database. One particular artist who has caught my attention is Flemish Renaissance man Cornelis Floris de Vriendt (1514–1575).

[Print with grotesque figures from the series "Many variations of grottoes and compartments"
(1556) by Cornelis Floris. Via]

[Print with grotesque figures from the series "Many variations of grottoes and compartments"
(1556) by Cornelis Floris. Via]

I don't think I've looked at Floris on the blog before. Who knows why, because his work is spectacular. The museum explains that:

"Cornelis Floris was born in Antwerp but spent some time in Rome in the late 1530s when he would have been exposed to examples of Ancient Roman and Renaissance grotesque decoration. The grotesque style often featured fanciful creatures -part human, part plant. The prints of Cornelis Floris have been described as having a sinister quality about them. In this example the combination of the auricular (ear-like) quality of the framework and the presence of individual figures apparently held prisoner by it, does give an unsettling effect."

Floris' work can seem a bit sinister, although I think this might be because he tends to use sinuous lines which give a snake-like curve and flow to each element within the frame.

[Grotesque panel with the figure of Neptune (1557) by Cornelis Floris. Via]

[Print showing a ewer supported by a satyr with flower ornament and a sea-shell snout
(1548) by Cornelis Floris. Via]

Floris also worked on an incredible set of designs depicting 'grotesque masks.'

[Grotesque mask (1560) by Cornelis Floris. Via]

[Grotesque mask (1560) by Cornelis Floris. Via]

[Grotesque mask (1560) by Cornelis Floris. Via]

[Grotesque mask (1560) by Cornelis Floris. Via]

[Grotesque mask (1560) by Cornelis Floris. Via]

[Grotesque mask (1560) by Cornelis Floris. Via]

[Grotesque mask (1560) by Cornelis Floris. Via]

The merging of animal and vegetable, living and nonliving in these images makes them a fantastic example of the traditional grotesque style.

[Grotesque mask (1560) Cornelis Floris. Via]

[Grotesque mask (1560) by Cornelis Floris. Via]

This is one of my favourites. Can you see the lobster?

[Grotesque masks (1560) by Cornelis Floris. Via]

There is something so beautifully architectural about these faces, and it comes as no surprise that Floris' main occupation was as an architect and sculptor. In this capacity he designed the Antwerp Town Hall, which is very nice indeed.

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He also designed the grave for the King of Denmark and Norway, which illustrates his fame rather well. When an actual King wants his dead body encased in your work, you're doing it right.

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Should have a few more favourites to look at in the next few weeks. Also my very own copy of Thomas Wright's (1875) History of Caricature and of Grotesque in Literature and Art to show off. Might give it a glamorous photo shoot...

Don't Look Down

This video reminds me of the infamous forehead incident of 2010.

Slightly less daring, but I think we're all a little bit grateful for that.





Try getting that song out of your head. Just try.