Thursday, January 26, 2012

On The Barbie


I used to work in the deli section of a large supermarket. It wasn't the most respected or highest paying job I've ever undertaken, but I did learn a lot about what Australians like to eat; particularly on special occasions like Christmas, the New Year, public holidays and weekends.

As today is Australia Day, I figured I should post in honour of the most popular things we ever sold on public holidays: dead crustaceans.

Here are a few of my favourite crusty composites from the Web.


Lobster motorcycles by chef Huang Mingbo.



We came to dread Christmas Eve in the deli, because we knew our fingers and palms would be shredded by midday from shoveling handful after handful of raw prawns into plastic bags. The flimsy rubber gloves were too soft to prevent their spines puncturing our skin and sliding under our fingernails. You would have thought the blood would put off the customers but, like sharks, it only seemed to heighten their frenzy.

Anyway, here is a photo of me after a ten hour shift:


Pretty! Also resembles Scott D. Wilson's Victorian lobster boy.

Humanity's seafood obsession has been going on for a while.

[Detail from ancient Roman mosaic. Excavated Pompeii, Naples. Via]

It has taken on more inexplicable forms in recent years, though...

[Starving Child Octopus Baby silk pillow. Via]

Not sure what's going on here, but I like it.


Future film idea/title: The Girl with the Crab Hat.

Also this.

Really, how are those crabs blowing up the island? I guess you know you are in trouble when the giant crustaceans have "razor sharp claws that hand grenades and dynamite cannot stop."

Well that's enough for now. It's 5pm and 40C here in Perth, so I don't have the energy to collect any more sea folly.

Okay maybe one more.

[Go on, get yourself a prawn costume. You deserve it.]